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Donald Trump, History Dunce - by Andy Borowitz Donald Trump keeps telling us that his war in Iran is “on schedule ” In one sense, he’s right: it’s on schedule to be dumber, more chaotic, and more expensive than George W Bush’s war in Iraq
Study Links Trump Being President to Increased Use of Tylenol MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—According to a new study published on Monday, there is a strong link between Donald Trump being president and increased use of Tylenol The study, which was published by the University of Minnesota Medical School, reports that consumption of the pain reliever has increased by nine thousand percent since Trump’s Inaugurat…
Hegseth Rushed to Walter Reed Hospital After Poking Eye With Mascara Brush WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In what the White House is calling “an unfortunate accident,” Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was rushed to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on Monday after poking his eye with a mascara brush Briefing reporters, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt denied that alcohol played “any role” …
The Resistance is Here - by Andy Borowitz - borowitzreport. com I'm going to the 50501 protest on Wednesday (50 states, 50 protests, 1 day) I am really really trying to get friends who talk the talk to walk the walk by contacting reps and donating to: the ACLU because we need lots of lawsuits, AOC because she is the only one I've heard who is getting loud until yesterday, Public Citizen--lawsuits again Fetterman and McCormick's phones don't even take
Hillary Destroys the Republicans - by Andy Borowitz They’d soon regret sending her a subpoena In one of the greatest cases of mistaken identity since Donald Trump thought E Jean Carroll was Marla Maples, House Republicans sent a subpoena to the wrong First Lady Instead of Melania Trump, who spent untold hours with the child rapist Jeffrey Epstein, they summoned Hillary Clinton They’d soon regret it The former Secret…